The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm both gender and math confused
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
