I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
