Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
