I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize