was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
