just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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