You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize