a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
