you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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