did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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