What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
