I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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