Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
