after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
false alarm, still single
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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