I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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