You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
