just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
