There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
