dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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