just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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