I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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