its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize