do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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