So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
