Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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