ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
