there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
