Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
