Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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