I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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