Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
