Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
