My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
