Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
