careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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