I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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