real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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