yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
