By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He shit in the fireplace
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize