The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
