Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
