Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
