Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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