He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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