i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize