Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize