is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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