carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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