you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Randomize
