'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
