Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
