Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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