Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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