There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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