woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize