There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize