I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just pynch a tree in the face
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
