After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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