If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
