OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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