You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
