new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I will pee on everything he values.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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