i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
