i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
