somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think people are normalizing furries
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
